Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
Be BoldHeart.
Enjoy Your Life.

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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Friday, November 13, 2015

Week 10: Emerging

Birthing Tub Parade

I woke up this morning at 3:45, sharing far too much blanket and body heat and awkwardly positioned between Andy and Merritt—who at some point in the night had pushed my second pillow to the floor to create a space he could sneak into.

I lay awake for a good thirty minutes before reaching for my phone and checking my email, and I was just beginning to look for news to read when the last 2% battery life was up and my screen went dark. I lay on my belly, a little bump emerging now, and tried to fall back to sleep. I gazed at Merritt for a few moments in the shadows—he's so long, so big, but he still rests his face on cupped hands when he sleeps and then he reminds me of his baby self.

Then I was suddenly ravenous and wide awake and ready to start the day, craving a spicy hummus veggie sandwich with cheddar cheese and milk, and wanting the sun to rise so I could go for a run, and mapping out the day knowing we needed to get groceries at some point because I forgot to order them online by the deadline the night before and our cupboards are always bare by Friday afternoon. (I very often have food on my mind.)

I'm beginning to emerge from my first trimester cocoon and after 4.5 weeks of solid sickness, the timing of this peace offering couldn't be better. Every new day brings a greater ratio of easier times than not, and I am so grateful to feel alive again.


A highlight from last week: hearing the baby's heartbeat. A few days following an episode of spotting turned bleeding and I entered my midwife's warm lair for an already scheduled first prenatal visit. She wasn't certain she'd be able to find the heartbeat on doppler at 9 weeks and so I had kind of written it off, my mind already made up and intent on getting an ultrasound to satisfy my curiosity about what in the world was going on in there. To our happy and tearful surprise, she found it quickly—strong and fast in the 160's—and that was good enough for me.

This afternoon I bought my blood moon baby a first gift: an apple park bat blankie, which Merritt has adopted in the interim.

1 comment :

  1. I'm glad you're feeling better! Seems like baby is doing well and I love these updates. :-)


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