Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
Be BoldHeart.
Enjoy Your Life.

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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Week 4: Discovery



We had planned to wait until October or later, but I was tracking and Andy had a sudden change of heart after returning from travel so we decided to give it a go in September, just for fun. The window of opportunity was so short I don’t think either of us expected anything to come of it, and so we shared a tiny spark of surprise when I discovered I was pregnant 10 days later at 9 dpo. It was the night of the super-harvest blood moon and a full lunar eclipse, and it was the faintest of faint positives.

Just the night before I was gathered with my mama friends atop a boulder-built-for-three jutting up from the riverbed. We set an altar under a fine mist of rain as the sun set behind cool grey skies growing darker. A cloud of bats swirled overhead and the river lulled us from below and all around, down and away. It was the perfect night for a birth release—a letting go of past and present, a welcoming embrace of change to come. No fear. Just hope and peace in our hearts for continuing our mothering adventures with greater friendship and heartier community. Our moods and conversation that night struck just the right balance of dark and light as we recounted painful disappointments, new confidence and optimism. Nature was on our side enchanting us with cleansing rain, pink-hued skies, and bats—a fitting symbol of rebirth.* 

The whole sequence of first spontaneity, the official start of the fall season, a transformational celebration of motherhood and friendship, followed by the eerie super harvest moon eclipse—it all has me feeling very “it’s meant to be” and I’ve been calm, content, and at ease ever since. 

It’s still early—just four weeks yesterday—but I’m too cheerful to keep it to myself. Having experienced moderate antepartum and postpartum anxiety in the past, I’m making a conscious effort not to allow worry to overtake my joy. 

As one of my friends shared on the eve of the supermoon: "A wise woman once said, 'No two children are born into the same family, just as we cannot step into the same river twice.'" I'm carrying that sentiment with me for myself as I navigate this unique pregnancy and birth, for my boys as they adapt to sharing their mama in new ways, and for this baby who will join us in June, whoever he or she will be. 

I’ve cleared our fall calendar of extraneous commitments and I’m protecting my time and my sleep to focus on taking care of myself, staying in the daily moments of now, and nurturing my relationships with the boys during this special time. I'm ready to go wherever this pregnancy takes me. 


*A Bat flying into your life signifies that transformation of the ego self is about to occur, the end of a way of life and the start of another. This transition can be very frightening for many, even just to think about. But you will not grow spiritually until you let go these old parts of you that are NOT NEEDED. Facing the darkness before you will help you find the light in rebirth. The bat gives you the wisdom required to make the appropriate changes for the birthing of your new identity.  Shamanic Journey

8 comments :

  1. Oh my heart is so full for you and your family on this new part of your journey!

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    1. Thanks Angi, has morning sickness lightened up for you? I hope so!

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  3. So so excited for you and congrats!!! Yay!!!

    So here is a random bat/birth story I think you will enjoy. The night I was born, or rather, the night my mom went into labor with me, a bat flew down the chimney And into their bedroom and jolted my mom into labor (or so she claims). Isn't that interesting!? I had never heard about bats as a spiritual sign of change but will have to read more and share with my mom. So cool!

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    1. Oh I love this!! So interesting and very cool. I'm curious your mom's take after you share with her. Maybe you remember Roscoe's rabies scare a couple years back? (When he carried a dead bat around for the afternoon.)...well, because of all this cool bat stuff I'm now growing quite fond of them! Rebirth, intuition, journeying, they are fascinating little omens.

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  4. I'm so excited!! I love this story! Our little creepy halloween child!! Can't wait to celebrate with you!! Another will be added to the family and I cannot wait! Love you guys!

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