Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
Be BoldHeart.
Enjoy Your Life.

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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Monday, April 15, 2013

Labeling myself a work-at-home momma, FAQ answers

Last month readers posted questions to an FAQ request. Today I'm sharing more about my experience as a work at home momma.

How do you like being a working stay-at-home mom (do you consider yourself that?)


Finding the right language to describe my role as a working mother has always been a little challenging for me. Part of the conflict is that since I became a mother I've worked only in a part-time capacity and from home. Because such a small percentage of my time was focused on work, and because most of my energy and joy was derived from the kids and our family life, I didn't consider my work a hugely substantive part of my identity and while I called myself a work-at-home mom, I thought of myself as a stay-at-home mom.

When I left my job over the Summer to pursue teaching and labor support, I was crowned with the official title of stay-at-home mom. Andy and I both made some lofty assumptions about the ways that life at home would be restyled with this new phase of my career. Andy imagined a direct translation to a cleaner, more tidy, and better organized home; a calmer and more relaxed wife; flexibility for him to work more hours at his own job; and more sex. In addition to all that I thought I would also have more time to invest in self care and looked forward to more quality time with the kids at home and around town.

I had no idea how quickly or passionately I would jump into developing my birth services concept for MamaBorn, or how rapidly business would come, not to mention how great a commitment the hours would be. In general, I work around 30 hours a week, and most would consider those to be the hours of a working mother. Of course, the early investment required to get a small business off the ground can be tremendous, so I expect the time commitment to wane a bit now that I have laid the groundwork. Happily, we are finally realizing some of those ideals we initially imagined for ourselves.

I've always felt that working from home, while seemingly the best of both worlds, left some things to be desired. For me, I missed the clear boundaries between work and home (designated space and designated time to focus on work responsibilities), face to face adult interaction, the requisite to begin the day with a shower, and makeup, and a put together outfit; the opportunity to leave the house and mingle in regular life.

I cherish the opportunity to have breastfed both of my kids and to have bypassed the challenges of separation and pumping, and to have always been within arms reach whenever I or they needed the other. I love that I was able to keep family at the heart of every day, while still growing my career and maintaining some financial independence.

Still, setting effective boundaries is a learned skill and working and living under the same roof makes it difficult to carve-out time dedicated solely to either one. I find it a much greater challenge now that I work for myself and when my work is so close to my heart: an extension of how I live and love, and a true integration of career and family. During my work at home hours I am also fielding questions from the nanny, checking in with the kids, facilitating discipline when needed, and hearing their every move through the walls of our small home. Sometimes it can be hard to concentrate with all that interruption and so I spend a fair amount of my fifteen dedicated hours sitting at Starbucks where I can work truly free from thoughts of the kids. On the flip-side, it takes effort to remain unplugged (as much as is possible when on-call) during family time, and to give myself permission to be free from my endless list of business related to-dos.

Over the last year I've developed my identity as a working mother with a great amount of flexibility to be present and engaged with my kids throughout the week. I love my work and I love my family, and I have to consciously balance my commitment to my business with my family's necessary sacrifice and meet them somewhere in the middle. Given that I have two young children and a husband who works a demanding job an hour out of town, my dreams for my business are constrained, in a way, by my responsibilities to my family and by our collective resources of time, energy, and finances. This reality keeps me focused on the priorities of my work, which is a good thing, because I can (and would) brainstorm business and birth all day and night.

In general, I feel more confident in my role as a working mother, but as with all transitions we are fine tuning our approach to learn what works best to make a dual career household run smoothly. I think working from home and being entrepreneurial throws in a twist, but it feels a little bit like an adventure!

What is your working arrangement and what do you call yourself?

4 comments :

  1. ahh! I wrote you an email! it is me Alexandra!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Earn Cash Money Just by login to Our Team

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  3. Jacqueline, Great issue. It stirred within me emotional energy that applauded your efforts and family. Stay focused and energized... your family is worth it; get sleep too, sleep is you friend. Love Dad

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  4. Hope your well I miss your blog posts!

    ReplyDelete

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