Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
Be BoldHeart.
Enjoy Your Life.

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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Friday, June 1, 2012

work and play

Since returning from maternity leave in 2011, my typical work schedule has been 8am - 3pm every Tuesday and Thursday.  I've always enjoyed having a couple days of designated time for my professional work, while still preserving the afternoons with the kids and a majority of our weekdays to hang out together.

I've also joked that working from home, while ideal for us, affords me few of the perks I perceive to exist for moms who either stay home or work outside the home, like getting dressed and stepping into a different environment, or the luxury of being fully present in either role of the moment. In three years I never did find absolute harmony in separating the two roles when they both must live under one roof. Work often runs into family life and even with great child care I find myself mothering during business hours.

For the month of May I worked 4 and 5 days a week either 8-3 or 8-5, which has been hard on all of us. Our nanny, who has been with us since we moved back to Richmond, took on a full load of Summer classes and understandably could not commit to also watching the kids. I spent more than a month interviewing for her position and then invested time and money training a girl who, for all promise, didn't show up on her first day, and then again stood me up on her third.  Both were honest but unacceptable mistakes as I am in the twilight hours of finishing up my final project before finally calling it quits.  She wasn't a perfect fit, anyway, which made it easier to let her go.

Given the circumstances, I've been off this week and, while I sometimes think of my work time as "break time" from my mothering responsibilities, I've really missed the kids the last few weeks and so have been eagerly soaking them up.

The way Merritt does his confident little turn-and-plop into my lap for story time.  The fact that we have time to spend three hour blocks at the park digging in the sand until we're all three red in the face only to eventually make our way back home in time to devour popsicles before dinner. Their sweaty little heads, and sticky bodies after a full day of late May revelry is proof of their adventures and the all-out effort required of toddler play. Speaking of which, after Roscoe's bath last night he declared, seemingly impressed, "Look, Momma!  I don't have any dirt in my toenails!"

I realized yesterday during our walk that Merritt can now say "bird" and "squirrel", and "car".  I had no idea because I haven't taken them for a nap-walk in weeks.  He also recently started saying "geeeentle" in a sing-songy voice to match my constant reminders not to slap me in the face during our nursing sessions.  He calls for Roscoe now too, only managing the general syllables of RAH and O, but pretty sweet sounding just the same.

I have to find time this weekend to brain dump into their baby books, because these kids are a-changin'.  As always.

But, I'm glad to be here, and happy to have a short hiatus from being too busy to fully appreciate my little guys.

*Photos courtesy of our former nanny who emailed the montage to me a few days ago.  We definitely miss her as much as she seems to be missing the boys.

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