Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
Be BoldHeart.
Enjoy Your Life.

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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Friday, October 28, 2011

Chloe girl


Chloe, our dog, had a seizure this morning.  It was her second in two weeks, but the first that we witnessed.

Gripped by convulsions, I was sure that she was dying. Afterward, she lay panting, frothing at the mouth, and the best we could do was to rub her and tell her that everything would be ok.

She tried to get on her feet, but fell down as she stumbled into the wall. I sensed her terror but was helpless. The hair on her back bristled and I felt then the same hesitation to trust her as I did the night that she wandered into our yard 7 years ago, a young pit bull with an unknown past.

The vet says that it is probably brain cancer and that we should expect the seizures to increase in frequency and severity.  We ran some preliminary tests that didn't offer any answers. We don't plan to order anything more to confirm or deny our vet's intuition.

Since Roscoe was born, the place that our pets held in our hearts has been filled-in with life stresses and parental responsibilities. Our focus and our priorities are so different now than before, and our jaded perception of pet ownership (animals captive in homes) looms large. (Does anyone else ever think of this is an odd phenomenon!?) We feel guilty every day over the seismic shift in our attitude and, as genuinely as we loved Chloe (and still do in so many ways), it's hard to admit.

Chloe has always been such a sweet and loyal dog, our little bully.  I often feel that she deserves so much more than we can offer her now, life is just so demanding.

Knowing that she is sick, now makes the guilt feel even heavier than before. Two whole years have elapsed. I hope that we have time to make it up to her.

2 comments :

  1. I was NOT expecting this post... GEESE!! I couldn't hold back the tears. Sad, sad, sad... she knows her people lover her.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh your poor pup :( I hope she is feeling better now. They certainly do take a back seat once children enter the family, but our fur babies always have a special place in our hearts. I'm sure she knows that too.

    ReplyDelete

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