Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

worth repeating

On Monday I got a call from my doctor with good news that couldn't be elaborated on over the phone.

On Tuesday I went for a follow-up appointment and learned that the official diagnosis was a ruptured milk duct. After all that. However, I questioned why there was no mention in the report of fibroadenoma, as the first biopsy had indicated. My doctor thought it was a little strange as well, and left to discuss with the Pathologist his findings in more detail. He hadn't come in to work yet so my doctor said she'd investigate and give me a call back.

This morning I learned that the cores of tissue that the pathologist reviewed were in fact all ductal and breast tissue, which means that the tumor was missed entirely. The radiologist biopsied healthy breast tissue, and nothing else. I was told that sampling error is rare, but I'm a little suspicious as to how it is possible that the lump, which is not small, was not sampled at all.

All of this to say that I will need to have the procedure repeated.

I'm annoyed. I don't want to miss another week at the gym. I don't want to orchestrate another herculean feat of scheduling in order to be sure that Roscoe is cared for at home, and that I have a helper to accompany me with Merritt to my appointment. I don't really want to go through the procedure again and I definitely do not want to get a milk fistula--I felt lucky to have had the procedure once with no complications and I don't want to push it. Finally though, I don't want to be in limbo anymore. Not knowing affects me and it's hard not to think about it every day, especially when I spend every day with my boys.

Hopefully, I can schedule a repeat biopsy sooner rather than later.


  1. I am so sorry you ahve to go through this all again- and go back to waiting. Goof for you for speakng up and pressing the issue when you knew that something wasn't right.

  2. Ugh, I am so sorry it has to be repeated. I hope it goes smoothly.

  3. Oh my gosh - I was so happy for you at the beginning of the post. That's infuriating, just another reason to distrust doctors and trust your gut. Sending good wishes your way that everything goes well in round 2...

  4. How completely infuriating and frustrating! It's great that you are so on top of things but not cool that you have to be. Will continue to send you positive thoughts as you weather this storm.

  5. So sorry to hear that... gosh, I would be SO mad, I can't even imagine what you're thinking. Good luck this next time around, hopefully it goes as smooth as the first :)

  6. I feel horrible for you J and I really hope the next procedure goes smoothly and that you have ready help with the boys. Keep busy with activities and your spirits up...I can only imagine how difficult it is but I know how great Andy and your family members are and how you can rely on their unconditional love and support. I will be thinking about you!

  7. That is ridiculous and obnoxious. And bizarre that they could just miss the tumor and go "oh, all I got was milk, oh well, I guess she's fine!" This comes back to the whole "we have no idea what to do with nursing mom boobies" thing. Thye had better schedule with a sense of urgency now that all this time has passed since they already said "do it now!" like a month ago!!! - Katie

  8. They might try to make you pay 2x (audacious!) - - but you could absolutely fight it on grounds that both the biopsy & the reading were done negligently. My guess is they'd relent b/c this were major goofs on their parts. Thank goodness you're so on top of it


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