Stay Curious.
Dig Deeper.
Nurture What Matters.
Be BoldHeart.
Enjoy Your Life.

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The BoldHeartMama desires to enjoy living out the choices that she’s made for herself and for her family. She is a relentless learner: curious, inquisitive, and open to the possibilities of her life and of the human condition. She understands that there isn't one right way—she asks questions that dig deeper to make sense of it all and to find her own path.

She pays attention to and nurtures whatever it is she really cares about, letting go of the rest (for now) knowing she can't do and be everything all at once. She embraces her imperfections in favor of "good enough"—her imperfect self, her imperfect home, her imperfect mothering, her imperfect desires—and she never stops evolving as a woman and mother. She is a BoldHeart, authentic and true to herself.

The BoldHeartMama knows there is only this one life and she's all in. She is present and engaged and making things happen. Her intuition is her guide. She seeks to be inspired and relies on her creativity and her resourcefulness to solve the big and little challenges that she and her family face together as they navigate their relationships and their world.

The BoldHeartMama is willing to take calculated risks to make her biggest dreams come true. She is living out her BoldHeart in the moment, making small moves and taking little steps that add up, and she's cultivating a good life for herself and her family in the process. Read More!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Spotting

Since Roscoe's birth the pace of time has been marvelous.

Suspend. Individual days are made up of hours that are made up of minutes that tick, tick, tick, along. I take it all in, every last second, and remind myself to try to remember these moments, because they will never ever happen again.

Accelerate. Fifteen months have passed, the Summer of 2010 is over, and our little guy sleeps in his own bed, through the night (the swing banished from the nursery, once and for all!). He walks and runs, offering his love and affection all day long. Eats with forks and spoons, plays games that he makes up as he goes along, demonstrates a sense of humor, and an ear for a good beat.

I've been profoundly appreciative for both extremes of the pendulum of time.

Tomorrow I'll have 7 weeks behind me and by this time next week Little Sears will have grown to be a 1/2 inch long. Captivated by Time's continuous hand, I am not too surprised that this pregnancy, just one of the many parts that make up our life at this moment, moves at an about equal pace to the rest.

Last time, it felt like forever happened before I made it to seven weeks. Last time I was gripped with anxiety over miscarriage and other unfortunate events not within my control. Last time I had spotting and everything worked out just fine.

This time, I'm much more content. More relaxed. More knowing of what this process is, and how it works, and what waits for me at the end of it. Birth. A squishy little baby. A family of four. A sibling relationship that will last for a whole lifetime. We love Little Sears. And we've already imagined a good life with him/her in it.

Rewind back to this morning, when I noticed what is never considered to be a good sign: spotting.

It lasted through the morning and now nothing. I've had a few episodes of lower back discomfort, but I wouldn't categorize it as cramping. It's Saturday so there will be no confirmation of anything in particular until Monday at the earliest.

Suspended, we wait.

5 comments :

  1. Loved how you spoke of time's passing.

    Praying for you and your family right now.

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  2. Thanks! It's discouraging, but there isn't much to do right now. Ugh. We're hoping for the best :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Thinking of you and keeping all my fingers crossed that this will turn out to be harmless spotting like with Roscoe.

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  4. Just rest up, hun ! What will be will be !

    ReplyDelete

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